Koi paththar se maare mere deewane ko!

In an office full of super intelligent beings working their asses off to create a high-end IT solution for a high-tech European firm, there exist absolute jerks with absolutely rotten brains that nauseate you to death with their moron’ness!
I came to know of one such jerk.

After two futile attempts of pinging on the official messenger and requesting to ‘have friendship’, the jerk sends a mail.

I am feeling extremely dim saying this, but it made my day because me and the other three women in my office were rolling with laughter and cracking a million jokes after this -
Read it to believe it-

Hi Pallavi,
Please do trust me.
I do not hurt anybody. (he did! my jaws are hurting from all the laughing)
I do not have right to play in anybody's life. (watches hindi movies)
Just my intension is to share the things so that many should get benefited. (?? Which things? Benefit? …??)
In friendship as u already know that "Sharing helps one's life to rebirth and bring happiness in them ". (Anyone who can explain this sentence gets a lifetime membership to read my blog)
There are lot of things in friendship. (for eggjample?)
I am too very fair guy. If u have seen my photo in whitepages (its the intranet site), it is totaly different from me. I am photogenic. (this sentence almost evokes pity as it seems like a last desparate attempt. I wish i could paste his picture from 'whitepages' here! But i really dont want him to be famous!)

You say ‘umm…ok’..

Saved the best for the last ANDD......

Guess the name?
Never mind, you wont be able to....

Its ‘Linganand’ (if literally translated -penis-pleasure) –
You cant even say ‘what were his parents thinking?’ We know exactly what they were thinking!
He deserves a bravery award - With a name like this I wouldnt even want to be employed lest my colleagues kill me indecent jokes about my name. But this one? He bravely approcahes random women that too through official email, where there is no scope of using any alias! Bravo, I say!

After this hilariously pathetic mail, there was a series of forwards from him and the last one said “Have a nice weekend”.

I wanted to reply ‘You have a LONG one” (Har Har Har!)

"saree" jahan se achchi!

A few days back I happened to read a column by Shashi Tharoor in Times of India titled ‘Save the saree from the sorry fate’ (I wish I had the e-copy to link it here). He really managed to anger the feminist in me and I wanted to write something to him immediately, but got totally distracted and wrote some porn literature!

So, basically Mr.Tharoor says in his article that saree is really being neglected by the ‘women of today’ and they wear more of ‘western clothing’ especially to work. He also says that ‘saree is now worn only at occasions like weddings and parties or some traditional festival’. He adds that he learnt this when he ‘visited India a few days back’.

First of all, with all due respect, “Sir, what the fuck do you mean by ‘sorry fate’?”

A few pointers-

• Before writing such testosterone dripping articles, please check the facts, because a lot of women still wear saree to work in a lot of states. But to know that you need to be IN India. Figure this-
  -"The importance of Saree has come to fore in a survey conducted by KSA Technopark on the Indian clothing market. The favourite choice of Indian women continues to be Saree. It has retained its special charm and place despite tough competition from contemporary forms of apparel. It contributed a sizable 44% in value terms of the total spend on women’s wear last year."
• More women prefer wearing ‘western clothes’ to office because ITS QUICKER! (And this, I think, is much easier to understand than being a UN Secretary General for Communications and Public Information! Duh-uh!)
• Also, the fact that a saree is now being worn at occasions and not regularly to office/work etc doesn’t make the fate of the saree sorry….but it completely takes it to another level where it is valued as a garment and is treated 'special'.
  Do you wear your favorite shirt to a party because you are saving it from being neglected? (More Duh-uh)
• In fact, the fate of the saree was ‘sorry’ 25 years ago when our poor ignorant aunts from ‘foreign’ got ‘imported’ sarees from ‘the Ingland’.
• Last but not the least, how many men in India wear DHOTI to work??
  Or more importantly, when did YOU wear dhoti to a party?? Huh?