Dish'tabhd

Disclaimer
This section contains some ‘sentences/words’ which might offend the sensibilities of some readers. Readers are expected to exercise appropriate discretion in reading materials that may be offensive.

(Also, when you visit a blog named ‘Blahsfemmy’, you should come prepared.)


Watched 'Nishabd' this weekend because I was super bored and also the DVD wala just pushed it in my hands ‘yits nicee madaam’. And I thought, ‘Ok, it cant kill me’.

My interpretation of the movie-

Amitabh has a picture perfect life and a house at a picturesque and too-good-to-be-true place, has a doting wife (played well by Revathi, by the way, she is the only one who seems to be a realistic character) and a daughter who always is at her chirpiest best
ANDDD….
Then comes the daughter’s desi-LOLITA-type friend from phoren with an accent thats neither british nor american but some sort of accent nonethless, who MOST DEFINITELY doesn’t look 18. NO WAY!

(I still fail to understand, why Ram Gopal Varma had to show her as 18? Even a 22 year old falling in love with a 60 year old would have worked the same way!)

Also, it seems Ramuji doesn’t realize that there is a very thin line between ‘sexiness’ and ‘sluttiness’! And he crossed the line more than often!

Egg-jamples-

• Do you think a 18 year old in itsy-bitsy shorts and a transparent white shirt playing with a hose pipe like she is going to give it a blow job anytime soon is sexy??
  Naah! Its SLUTTY!!
• Do you think a 18 year old in the same itsy-bitsy shorts sucking on a 'lolly pop' (sic) and stroking her own thighs is sexy??
  Naah….its called SOFT PORN!

There is no end to such innuendos!

BUT, maaa frends...and especially 'brothas'...the PORN ends here as there aren’t any steamy scenes where there could have been or rather ‘should’ have been. Instead, there is just a shocked looking Amitabh gawking!

Also, the Slut is retarded! Because she keeps cracking pathetic jokes and throwing fits! The intent maybe was to show her more grown up in her head than people her age…but it really came out the other way! Sorry!

AND… even sorrier is that our great super-hero Amitabh falls for this girl-woman-retard!!

Maybe, that was the whole point of the movie!

It was I think.

Then, I saw Babel. That’s what you call a ‘be-jhijhak’ picture!
It very matter-of-factly shows-

• A 12 year old guy masturbating
• A panty-less crotch of a 16 year old girl(!!)
• A full-frontal nude shot (of the same girl)

Hawjee!

The Com'mute'ters

After a lot of contemplation on what next post should be, I decided to carry on with my saga of the journey to and fro from office.

So, at this point, all those who sighed at the first sentence may leave!


After almost a year of commuting to ofc in a cramped Tata Sumo/Qualis/Indica, I was quite excited at the idea of traveling in a “Tempo Traveler” (yes, when u have a otherwise dull life, things like traveling in a Tempo Traveler CAN seem interesting!)
For people who are like ‘ain? What is a Tempo Traveller?’ well, it looks exactly like an Ambulance! WITHOUT the ‘+’ sign and the words AMBULANCE written on it. Even the way the drivers drive it, they think they are taking people to an ICU.


I board the van from the house just around 8. And people who don’t know me, I am really NOT a morning person. If you get me to say anything to the effect of ‘good morning’ or a joyful ‘hi’, it means I am really cheerful today. So, the most people get from me on a normal day is a nod, kind of like ‘ok, I acknowledge u are here, so am I, period.’ But then, there are just a couple of people apart from family who would really understand that.

So, every morning my day begins with a Tall Infuriating Guy (TIG) who comes to stand by my side to board the van. He got stamped as ‘Infuriating’ one fine morning, when he bombarded me with ‘how am I doing my investments to save tax’.
So, reluctantly I told him a few options I have chosen. To which he responded by spewing some mind boggling stuff about Income Tax, Finance department, and Fiscal Budget and concluded with the enlightening news that I am ‘not being wise’ (PC term for stupid) and in fact paying the government ‘some’ fine for ‘something’. Its too much for my brain to comprehend ‘first’ thing in the morning and I think it instantly killed some of my brain cells!! It also pissed me off completely because it kept nagging me for the rest of the day!! I have therefore blacklisted him from the list of ‘Probable Friends in the Van’. So, most of my conversation with him in the morning are like these

TIG – Hiii.
Me (nod)
TIG- (smiling) Good Morning
Me- (arggh, dint I just nod to you??)- hi
TIG- Bus hasn’t come yet…so late he comes these days…what time is it by your watch….
Me- 8
TIG- let me call him….Blah blah blah..

(I fiddle with my cell phone with full concentration)

Thankfully the van arrives.

The Ambulance looking Van is nothing but an upgraded version of an RTV (my mode of travel to ofc for 2 years in Delhi!) But nothing else is similar, the fellow inmates being the last. Although I miss my friends from RTV….I certainly find the van more comfortable! The seats are sufficiently padded and there are no ‘wooden phattas’ to accommodate last minute additions. However, there are ‘arrangements’ of all sorts like of putting an extra seat next to the driver.

Also, a very interesting feature I noticed was…there is a common lever (the thing with which u roll the windows up and down... what do u call it?) is common for windows of both the driver and the passenger seat next to it. Now, this is not in a 'high-tech -gizmo’ sort of a way but in a very desi way where you plug the lever in a hole, roll up the window, remove (??!!) the lever, repeat for the other window. This lever is sometimes shared with other van drivers also…so, it’s pretty much acceptable way of doing it, I suppose.

Anyway, coming back to the journey. Mine is the first stop and therefore I get to conveniently choose a comfortable seat. But the ‘comfort’ ends here , my friends, as loud scratchy kannada film music takes over and ruins your entire morning tearing the calm and peace of mind to bits and pieces!!

However hard I try to tell the driver to slow down the music, he just touches the volume knob and smiles like a satan!!

I am in no mood to have any polite conversation with ppl over loud scratchy music and immediately plug my ears with my MP3 player earphones and turn up the volume.

People keep coming in hardly noticing anyone around. And I feel, its not just me who is NOT a morning person. There are no hellos exchanged, no smiles flashed.
But it seems at times, not only they are not morning persons, they are not persons at all. They all seems so mechanical, like robots, everyone, each day does exactly as the previous day. There is no communication, no one bothers if the music is kannada or scratchy!
One calmly reads a newspaper, while another woman stares out of the window like she is spellbound by all the ‘beauty’ of the traffic outside. Another one reads a really fine print novel. Yet another man opens up his laptop and does something in an Excel sheet….like he just cant wait to reach ofc and begin working on the ‘exciting’ worksheet!

We pass a stinking tank and no one even flinches, and I doubt for a second, am I imagining the smell? The radio starts to play a buzzing sound instead of music and no one flickers an eyelid. I mean COME ‘AWN I can hear it even when my ears are stuffed with rock music on the highest volume!

It’s appalling….the whole monotony of the routine and the monotonous looking people.

However, while coming back from ofc to home its different….
TIG takes up the responsibility of talking and persuades people to talk about ‘interesting’ things. So, in between the songs, I have heard discussions on the following topics-

• Income tax
• Coding
• Telecom
• Cauvery River Dispute

They are better off on ‘mute’ me thinks!

Photo-shoto

On the popular demand of ONE person...





Presenting..





ZEE LAKE








(I think Fairy God Mother visited my lake and it turned all pretty again!)

PS – Please do not criticize the photography skills..this is the best I could do, half hanging out of the half-open window clicking away at a lake (with the flash on!) looking like a complete idiot! Also, the driver was driving at 180 km/hr (atleast thats what it felt like when i was half out!)