Just wolfed down 3 bowls of 'khichri'! Does that mean i am eating health food or i am sick.??.. nope nope nope... in the name of 'accompaniments' had potato wafers and loads of pickle with it! I am amazed at my ability to screw up the healthiest of foods... cornflakes with chocolate sauce.. green tea with smoke.. milk with ice cream... fruit juice with sugar syrup!!! sounds worse than paranthaa with ketchup ( .. which is a kind of a private joke... never mind...).
So i was thinking, why do i do this? I guess, I try to spice up not so interesting food with some junk to make it more edible... but end up making it unhealthy.
And interestingly enough, isnt that what i do with my life too??... just to make it 'livable' i spice it up with ingredients not so healthy!! So, maybe they are right when they say 'u are what u eat'...! So, that makes me sophiticated looking but actually a very junkie unhealthy snack!
Till next time!
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Thursday, September 22, 2005
..just a thought
22/Sept/2003
06:35 pm
All three balconies of this apartment face a small children’s park. I don’t know if that is fortunate or unfortunate. Was looking at a lady desparately trying to make her 9 month or so old daughter ‘walk’.. poor kid!
Children…. Hmmmm… am not quite sure why ppl want children. When a child is born.. you are sick of the constant crying and carrying them around… you want them to walk. As soon as they are walking.. you hate running around..you want them to start talking..so that you can send them to schools. You are sick of school fees, uniform, tuitions… u want them to be independent and send them to college… before they start to enjoy college.. you want them to find a job… ‘start earning decent money’ in other words. Finally all dreams realized.. they have a good degree, a good job .. happy bachelor life.. you are worried sick about their marriage… finally you find or let your children find the person of their dreams. Then they go away to start a life of their own.. and u let out a sigh… ‘Our Son/ daughter’s no longer with us’ Sob! Sob! .. what is it all about?? Maybe people are so used to this goddamn lifecycle they are scared of breaking it..We should not even be worried about our species getting extinct… already a huge population we are..! I think we shud relax for a few decades. Pass some law worldwide.. ‘no kids whatsoever for another 50 years’. Wont that be great?? !! And all the people who raise any hue and cry about it will have to adopt a child each from the millions of orphanages..! How about that??
Till next time!
06:35 pm
All three balconies of this apartment face a small children’s park. I don’t know if that is fortunate or unfortunate. Was looking at a lady desparately trying to make her 9 month or so old daughter ‘walk’.. poor kid!
Children…. Hmmmm… am not quite sure why ppl want children. When a child is born.. you are sick of the constant crying and carrying them around… you want them to walk. As soon as they are walking.. you hate running around..you want them to start talking..so that you can send them to schools. You are sick of school fees, uniform, tuitions… u want them to be independent and send them to college… before they start to enjoy college.. you want them to find a job… ‘start earning decent money’ in other words. Finally all dreams realized.. they have a good degree, a good job .. happy bachelor life.. you are worried sick about their marriage… finally you find or let your children find the person of their dreams. Then they go away to start a life of their own.. and u let out a sigh… ‘Our Son/ daughter’s no longer with us’ Sob! Sob! .. what is it all about?? Maybe people are so used to this goddamn lifecycle they are scared of breaking it..We should not even be worried about our species getting extinct… already a huge population we are..! I think we shud relax for a few decades. Pass some law worldwide.. ‘no kids whatsoever for another 50 years’. Wont that be great?? !! And all the people who raise any hue and cry about it will have to adopt a child each from the millions of orphanages..! How about that??
Till next time!
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
15/Sept/05: Desparate not so housewife!
15/Sept/2005
Its 10:30 pm and I sit in the balcony for a well deserving smoke. Well deserving because I am trying to cut down and it feels good if u are able to keep the promise you make to yourself and also because its been a tiring day. Nice cool breeze.. its almost chilly.. but it feels nice. The surroundings are very neat .. but very boring. Was hoping to find some interesting ppl around.. but seems like there are none ..atleast none in the balconies that I can see. Most of them inside, watching their ‘Flatron’ 29 inches television. Can hear a lady talk to her children…. I think she has no idea about her volume…. She is almost disturbing the serenity of the place.. however.. it feels nice to hear someone speak Hindi.. most of the voices that I hear during the day are either kannada or a a very kannada accented English. A fat lady comes to the balcony bang opposite mine… my smoke catches her attention and she is almost offended by it and she goes in, almost immediately. Thank you aunty!… I also dint especially like you !. But then soon… a fatter uncle enters and shamelessly stares into my face…and goes on staring… hello..??!! i feel like showing him my middle finger.. but have to restrain..after all its my neighborhood. All this kind of spoils the whole cool breeze scene and I want to just finish my smoke and get inside.
Am tired out of choice…. Unpacked like crazy all day…. Was kind of stretching my limits. just to avoid the feeling of loneliness. Dint even cook or eat food. Just had a pack of maggi .. my good ol’ maggi ! But physical work is very satisfying and makes you tired… tired enough so that you can sleep soundly.. a rarity these days.
The house is good.. kind of a dream house…also the society it is in… very organized and nice maintained.. swimming pool, gym etc. Needless to say, lot of rich bastards around in this place. Even has its own departmental store.. the prices are of course as per the rich bastards (bought an ordinary plastic dustbin for 130 bucks… bloody assholes!) Will be a lil difficult to survive like this … especially if I do not find a job soon!! Feeling a lil scared now.. more than 10 days since I have submitted my resume to all the hot companies and not even a single call… so much for the ‘hub of IT’ and ‘flood of jobs’. Bull shit!
The point to be noted is also that the date is significant because I joined NIIT 2 years on the same date completely convinced that ‘this is it!’ But that’s not very surprising .. there have been so many other ‘this is its’ which are not really ‘it’!!
Before I plunge into my depression.. I think I should go to sleep!
Till next time!
Its 10:30 pm and I sit in the balcony for a well deserving smoke. Well deserving because I am trying to cut down and it feels good if u are able to keep the promise you make to yourself and also because its been a tiring day. Nice cool breeze.. its almost chilly.. but it feels nice. The surroundings are very neat .. but very boring. Was hoping to find some interesting ppl around.. but seems like there are none ..atleast none in the balconies that I can see. Most of them inside, watching their ‘Flatron’ 29 inches television. Can hear a lady talk to her children…. I think she has no idea about her volume…. She is almost disturbing the serenity of the place.. however.. it feels nice to hear someone speak Hindi.. most of the voices that I hear during the day are either kannada or a a very kannada accented English. A fat lady comes to the balcony bang opposite mine… my smoke catches her attention and she is almost offended by it and she goes in, almost immediately. Thank you aunty!… I also dint especially like you !. But then soon… a fatter uncle enters and shamelessly stares into my face…and goes on staring… hello..??!! i feel like showing him my middle finger.. but have to restrain..after all its my neighborhood. All this kind of spoils the whole cool breeze scene and I want to just finish my smoke and get inside.
Am tired out of choice…. Unpacked like crazy all day…. Was kind of stretching my limits. just to avoid the feeling of loneliness. Dint even cook or eat food. Just had a pack of maggi .. my good ol’ maggi ! But physical work is very satisfying and makes you tired… tired enough so that you can sleep soundly.. a rarity these days.
The house is good.. kind of a dream house…also the society it is in… very organized and nice maintained.. swimming pool, gym etc. Needless to say, lot of rich bastards around in this place. Even has its own departmental store.. the prices are of course as per the rich bastards (bought an ordinary plastic dustbin for 130 bucks… bloody assholes!) Will be a lil difficult to survive like this … especially if I do not find a job soon!! Feeling a lil scared now.. more than 10 days since I have submitted my resume to all the hot companies and not even a single call… so much for the ‘hub of IT’ and ‘flood of jobs’. Bull shit!
The point to be noted is also that the date is significant because I joined NIIT 2 years on the same date completely convinced that ‘this is it!’ But that’s not very surprising .. there have been so many other ‘this is its’ which are not really ‘it’!!
Before I plunge into my depression.. I think I should go to sleep!
Till next time!
07/September/2005: boredom inc.
07/September/2005
Bangalore,
Hmmm.. so I have ‘moved on’ to particularly no where ..just one city to another. Am in a hotel till the time the stuff reaches from Delhi to here. And its soooo goddamn hard to kill time here. This is what the room is like.. well its like most of the hotel rooms a door to the wash room at the entrance and then a bed and TV facing each other… kind of suggesting that was the only thing to do in here! There are windows and the view outside is not such a ‘view’ really.. in the name of trees there are a few scraggy bushes and a dwarf palm tree ( yeah ..its practically dwarf.. it ends right where the window starts and the room is on the first floor… I mean Palm trees are supposed to be reeeely reeely tall..arent they?? Or maybe its still growing or something). And besides this ‘greenery’, there’s this ugly backside of some equally ugly building ( all air con vents and pipes sticking out.. you can see lights in some of the rooms after dark.. but its all basically very boring to look at!). Also, you can hear this really depressing chanting from some mosque ..mosque sounds ( whatever u call ‘em) are always very depressing..so are the shabads and kirtan sounds from ‘gurdwaras’. It makes you think that these ppl have nothing better to do in life than sing out these hymns or whatever..every day for no one in particular!!..how interesting can that be??. And the guests in the hotel are also quite boring..( where are all the noisy loud people when u really need them?) Sometimes, it all seems like a conspiracy to depress the hell out of me…. There was no cable for 14 hours the other day… arrgh…! I almost died..!
So, at times like these you realize how important work is .. and how work keeps you from all the bad things… u’ll see what I mean when I describe further how I fritter away my time.
Since the time I am alone..which is around noon till one in the night.. I turn into this real lazy monster.. I want my time to pass so I do all sorts of time consuming things… or u can call ‘em time wasting things like these:
Lazily make a cup of tea…( its suddenly very interesting to make tea.. u ponder each time u put sugar and cream.. and then wait for the water to boil.. and then pour and stir….. stirring is good … u can spend a lot of time doing that!)
Have a bath…. Lazy lazy bath… wont go into the nitty grittes of this one.. some things are better if left ti imagination!
Watch some movie…. Its amazing how patient u get with commercials when u are really really bored. I watched this movie called ‘intimate deceptions’ and there was nothing intimate or deceptive about it.. about three generations into prostitution and crap.. very crappy.. but I still watched… it’s the only way to keep oneself hooked.. a movie is sure shot formula to kill time for around 2 hours..! I dint really get much of this movie..just kept wondering thru out the movie how closely one of the actresses resembled our Aishwarya Rai… I so wanted to tell someone…like u want to when u want to confirm resemblances. .i don’t know if anyone else also feels the same!)
Read a book… again.. u read slowly so its actually good in a way… (otherwise I quite hop and skip words while reading which explains my bad vocabulary in spite of being fond of reading!! )
Well.. its okay to get bored sitting in a place but it can get really dangerous if u plan to take a trip outside.. when I say dangerous.. I also mean financially..!!
This is what all I did today… all in the name of killing time…:
Went to the cyber café just to check my mail for job offers… ended up chatting for an hour and 45 minutes!! Completely forgot about the job offer thingy!!
Then, had to go chk out curtains…so went to this plaza kind of thing called the ‘safina plaza’.. there was this really nice exhibition and sale for jute things… the kind of stuff the firangs will completely freak on..! I am not such a shopper but I just felt like buying ..it makes u look less stupid in a place.. basically just wanted to carry a bag in one hand with some stuff to look like a regular shopper..so I got 2 keychains and a small purse…. 2 things I haven’t bought in like 20 years!!
Went around looking for things and stopped at a stall selling aroma cosmetic things..i generally walk past all beauty product shops/stalls …(feel its very vain ....anyway..) . I guess I stopped there coz she told me that I don’t really need any skin crème coz my skin was perfect .. all I needed was maybe just a sun block (which is actually all I ever use ).. so that was a lil flattering and I stopped (yes.. thats also vain..however...!). The lady just shoved her pamphlet of all sorts aroma oils and crèmes in my hand.(.it also had ‘bet wetting oil’ holy moly!! I know what that meant but that could have been written a lil differently..eewww!) I must have looked at her in kind of disbelief coz the next thing she did was she showed me some newspaper cuttings about her products with her picture..( which must have been very very long ago… coz she looked younger ..or maybe she was really really photogenic!!) So I stood there reading the pamphlets and the news articles… ( I think I must be the only person who did that!) and that got her really interested and she just rattled on with her product list. Anyway, ppl started to gather around the stall and that’s when I got really uncomfortable.. its like people thinking ‘is she mad.. is she really going to buy those things??’. Guess what? She had actually convinced me to buy a sun block.. but I am so sorry.. she lost it at the last moment.. she really got desperate to sell it off and said ‘ I think u have lil ‘pigmentation’ on your cheeks… u know cheap products can do that.. would u like to see it ..i have a hand mirror’….. … that’s was it… highly embarrassing … felt like telling her.. 'NO I dont want to see my pigmentation in front of fifteen people and ….. fuck your mirror.. and fuck your cream.. !' I instead left with a polite ‘no thanks’! However, it was good because I spent a good 15 minutes there…. and also dint buy anything…!
But instead.. bought ‘chooran’ and supaari’…. Cant believe it?? I mean I don’t even eat chooran and supari…!!
Looked around and bargained for all sort of things that I was not planning to buy like jewellery and carpets and furniture..!
Finally, saw a curtain shop … and I learnt that there are 2 kinds of curtains ‘window curtains’ and ‘door curtains’, which was very interesting.. I thought there’s a standard curtain and u just cut the length according to the requirements..Anyway, the guy who was showing around …was more like a boy … so the conversation I had with him went something like this:
Me: How much is this window curtain?
Boy: one pipty maydum
Me: whats the measurement?
Boy: maydum, 6 peet by 4 peet.
Me: and this one?
Boy: this is daurr curtain maydum.. 7.5 peet by 5.5 peet…
Me: and the price ?
Boy: two pipty maydum
Me: and this ?
Boy: this is the bindow curtain
Me: how much?
Boy: one pipty maydum
Me: what is the measurement?
Boy: maydum, 6 peet by 4 peet.
Me: and this one?
Boy: this is door curtain maydum.
Me: how much?
Boy: two pipty maydum
Me: what is the measurement?
Boy: 7.5 peet by 5.5 peet
Me: and this one?
Boy ( seemingly irritated now): it is a bindow curtain
Me: oh. How..
Boy: twopipty
( he dropped the ‘maydum’ )
….and so I kept altering between a door and window curtains and changed the order of questions.. I wasalmost having a good time annoying the guy.. !! Sadistic pleasures ! Had to leave coz he started attended the prospective buyers instead of pests like me!
Decided to get into a book shop before i bought somthing stupid again… bought ‘one hundred years of solitude’ (please note how the title almost fits the situation!!)
Then I had nothing to do but to walk really really slowly back to my hotel. people who know me will know that for me, it’s a very painful thing to walk really slow coz my normal speed of walking is faster than most of the ppl! Or so I have been told on various occasions by various ppl!!
Then, I happened to see an ATM and thought ‘… wow… some more time can be killed here for sure…’ so I stopped by and waited in the queue… for the first time I was grateful for the queue!! Man….. what boredom can do to u??
Once inside.. I checked my balance… got a mini statement… withdrew 1000 bucks in 2 transcations of 500 bucks each!! .. then stood there for some more time.. putting in the cash in my purse and looking the transaction slip… pretending to calculate something..! Was beginning to look suspicious..so I left and walked real real slow to the hotel and I was back in the room at 6:30..(waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!) Only 2.5 hours spent out of 12 fucking hours!!
I was about to light up a cigarette, thought i jot this thing down first…and ladies and gentlemen..It is my pleasure to announce that its almost 8:30 by god’s grace :D!
Maybe now will watch some TV and then order food. Hmmm..another good activity to kill time.. Food..!
Till next time!
Bangalore,
Hmmm.. so I have ‘moved on’ to particularly no where ..just one city to another. Am in a hotel till the time the stuff reaches from Delhi to here. And its soooo goddamn hard to kill time here. This is what the room is like.. well its like most of the hotel rooms a door to the wash room at the entrance and then a bed and TV facing each other… kind of suggesting that was the only thing to do in here! There are windows and the view outside is not such a ‘view’ really.. in the name of trees there are a few scraggy bushes and a dwarf palm tree ( yeah ..its practically dwarf.. it ends right where the window starts and the room is on the first floor… I mean Palm trees are supposed to be reeeely reeely tall..arent they?? Or maybe its still growing or something). And besides this ‘greenery’, there’s this ugly backside of some equally ugly building ( all air con vents and pipes sticking out.. you can see lights in some of the rooms after dark.. but its all basically very boring to look at!). Also, you can hear this really depressing chanting from some mosque ..mosque sounds ( whatever u call ‘em) are always very depressing..so are the shabads and kirtan sounds from ‘gurdwaras’. It makes you think that these ppl have nothing better to do in life than sing out these hymns or whatever..every day for no one in particular!!..how interesting can that be??. And the guests in the hotel are also quite boring..( where are all the noisy loud people when u really need them?) Sometimes, it all seems like a conspiracy to depress the hell out of me…. There was no cable for 14 hours the other day… arrgh…! I almost died..!
So, at times like these you realize how important work is .. and how work keeps you from all the bad things… u’ll see what I mean when I describe further how I fritter away my time.
Since the time I am alone..which is around noon till one in the night.. I turn into this real lazy monster.. I want my time to pass so I do all sorts of time consuming things… or u can call ‘em time wasting things like these:
Lazily make a cup of tea…( its suddenly very interesting to make tea.. u ponder each time u put sugar and cream.. and then wait for the water to boil.. and then pour and stir….. stirring is good … u can spend a lot of time doing that!)
Have a bath…. Lazy lazy bath… wont go into the nitty grittes of this one.. some things are better if left ti imagination!
Watch some movie…. Its amazing how patient u get with commercials when u are really really bored. I watched this movie called ‘intimate deceptions’ and there was nothing intimate or deceptive about it.. about three generations into prostitution and crap.. very crappy.. but I still watched… it’s the only way to keep oneself hooked.. a movie is sure shot formula to kill time for around 2 hours..! I dint really get much of this movie..just kept wondering thru out the movie how closely one of the actresses resembled our Aishwarya Rai… I so wanted to tell someone…like u want to when u want to confirm resemblances. .i don’t know if anyone else also feels the same!)
Read a book… again.. u read slowly so its actually good in a way… (otherwise I quite hop and skip words while reading which explains my bad vocabulary in spite of being fond of reading!! )
Well.. its okay to get bored sitting in a place but it can get really dangerous if u plan to take a trip outside.. when I say dangerous.. I also mean financially..!!
This is what all I did today… all in the name of killing time…:
Went to the cyber café just to check my mail for job offers… ended up chatting for an hour and 45 minutes!! Completely forgot about the job offer thingy!!
Then, had to go chk out curtains…so went to this plaza kind of thing called the ‘safina plaza’.. there was this really nice exhibition and sale for jute things… the kind of stuff the firangs will completely freak on..! I am not such a shopper but I just felt like buying ..it makes u look less stupid in a place.. basically just wanted to carry a bag in one hand with some stuff to look like a regular shopper..so I got 2 keychains and a small purse…. 2 things I haven’t bought in like 20 years!!
Went around looking for things and stopped at a stall selling aroma cosmetic things..i generally walk past all beauty product shops/stalls …(feel its very vain ....anyway..) . I guess I stopped there coz she told me that I don’t really need any skin crème coz my skin was perfect .. all I needed was maybe just a sun block (which is actually all I ever use ).. so that was a lil flattering and I stopped (yes.. thats also vain..however...!). The lady just shoved her pamphlet of all sorts aroma oils and crèmes in my hand.(.it also had ‘bet wetting oil’ holy moly!! I know what that meant but that could have been written a lil differently..eewww!) I must have looked at her in kind of disbelief coz the next thing she did was she showed me some newspaper cuttings about her products with her picture..( which must have been very very long ago… coz she looked younger ..or maybe she was really really photogenic!!) So I stood there reading the pamphlets and the news articles… ( I think I must be the only person who did that!) and that got her really interested and she just rattled on with her product list. Anyway, ppl started to gather around the stall and that’s when I got really uncomfortable.. its like people thinking ‘is she mad.. is she really going to buy those things??’. Guess what? She had actually convinced me to buy a sun block.. but I am so sorry.. she lost it at the last moment.. she really got desperate to sell it off and said ‘ I think u have lil ‘pigmentation’ on your cheeks… u know cheap products can do that.. would u like to see it ..i have a hand mirror’….. … that’s was it… highly embarrassing … felt like telling her.. 'NO I dont want to see my pigmentation in front of fifteen people and ….. fuck your mirror.. and fuck your cream.. !' I instead left with a polite ‘no thanks’! However, it was good because I spent a good 15 minutes there…. and also dint buy anything…!
But instead.. bought ‘chooran’ and supaari’…. Cant believe it?? I mean I don’t even eat chooran and supari…!!
Looked around and bargained for all sort of things that I was not planning to buy like jewellery and carpets and furniture..!
Finally, saw a curtain shop … and I learnt that there are 2 kinds of curtains ‘window curtains’ and ‘door curtains’, which was very interesting.. I thought there’s a standard curtain and u just cut the length according to the requirements..Anyway, the guy who was showing around …was more like a boy … so the conversation I had with him went something like this:
Me: How much is this window curtain?
Boy: one pipty maydum
Me: whats the measurement?
Boy: maydum, 6 peet by 4 peet.
Me: and this one?
Boy: this is daurr curtain maydum.. 7.5 peet by 5.5 peet…
Me: and the price ?
Boy: two pipty maydum
Me: and this ?
Boy: this is the bindow curtain
Me: how much?
Boy: one pipty maydum
Me: what is the measurement?
Boy: maydum, 6 peet by 4 peet.
Me: and this one?
Boy: this is door curtain maydum.
Me: how much?
Boy: two pipty maydum
Me: what is the measurement?
Boy: 7.5 peet by 5.5 peet
Me: and this one?
Boy ( seemingly irritated now): it is a bindow curtain
Me: oh. How..
Boy: twopipty
( he dropped the ‘maydum’ )
….and so I kept altering between a door and window curtains and changed the order of questions.. I wasalmost having a good time annoying the guy.. !! Sadistic pleasures ! Had to leave coz he started attended the prospective buyers instead of pests like me!
Decided to get into a book shop before i bought somthing stupid again… bought ‘one hundred years of solitude’ (please note how the title almost fits the situation!!)
Then I had nothing to do but to walk really really slowly back to my hotel. people who know me will know that for me, it’s a very painful thing to walk really slow coz my normal speed of walking is faster than most of the ppl! Or so I have been told on various occasions by various ppl!!
Then, I happened to see an ATM and thought ‘… wow… some more time can be killed here for sure…’ so I stopped by and waited in the queue… for the first time I was grateful for the queue!! Man….. what boredom can do to u??
Once inside.. I checked my balance… got a mini statement… withdrew 1000 bucks in 2 transcations of 500 bucks each!! .. then stood there for some more time.. putting in the cash in my purse and looking the transaction slip… pretending to calculate something..! Was beginning to look suspicious..so I left and walked real real slow to the hotel and I was back in the room at 6:30..(waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!) Only 2.5 hours spent out of 12 fucking hours!!
I was about to light up a cigarette, thought i jot this thing down first…and ladies and gentlemen..It is my pleasure to announce that its almost 8:30 by god’s grace :D!
Maybe now will watch some TV and then order food. Hmmm..another good activity to kill time.. Food..!
Till next time!
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