blahsphemously yours....

Guess what? I have managed to achieve the target i had set for myself.. yup .. yup.. yup.. drove the fuckin car 35 kms to the office. ..( Neo, u can eat your heart out! :P) Did some good to my otherwise low morale!

I have more or less tried to use this blog as a platform to state my general opinion about things and not specifically go on with my woes...( will need to make a separate blog for that!)

So... today because i am upset with a lot of things.. am going to vent it out here... please bear with me!!

Many women.. almost all will agree that being a woman can be such a pain.. in the literal sense of the word... here is how:
life's pretty normal till u reach puberty.. the fuck up begins right after that.. so dear God you have given only about 13 years or so of gud life to women!! out of which 4 years we are not even aware that we have only 13 years to enjoy life to the core! That leaves us with 11 years or so..! Whereas our counterparts.. the male species get all their life ( thanx to science and research.. they now also have Viagra!!) VERY UNFAIR! Thats one question i am surely going to ask God when i reach up there..! The satan will ofcourse have to help me to send the message across because i am surely not going to heaven ...( i have recently lost all chances of going there!)

So with puberty comes a lot of things.. but the mensuration or periods just take the cake here!

Almost 90% of women suffer from dysmenorrhia ( in other words.. the excrutiating pain in the abdomen every month on the first day of the period!) As if its not enuff.. theres bleeding.. accompanied with a constant panic that the blood might stain the clothes..! Johnson&Johnson can go crazy with advertizing all sorts of super dry stuff and all the fuckall crap..but believe me 99% of women are still worried abt the staining.. no amount of science and research can do any good!
The even more 'blessed' women have the privilege of PMS!! which is nothing but another set of pains.. tenderness in the breast.. ( Men please note that tender here has nothing to do with the texture and feel.... our breasts 'hurt'..and hence the word 'tender'!!) backaches...bloated up body.... the feeling every morning when u can get in your jeans struggling with the zipper!... mental irritability... ( again... Men.. we dont just blame all bad moods on PMS.. its for real.. so fucking real that we become another person altogether!!)
Dont even want to get started with the post-depression !!

Anyway..next, comes the realization that for the rest of their lives we will need an extra garment for our upper body. Men cannot imagine that this piece of their fantasies is such a nightmare for women!! I was breathless for days before i got used to the idea of it..! Ofcourse how would men know.. wearing a necktie kills them!! previleged assholes!

Then you grow up and realize that you have hair in exactly the places where u dont want'em..! Still not sure who came up with the idea of hairless being attractive... Cleopatra or whoever... had no idea that she was giving a curse to the rest of the women ever born on the earth.
From getting the eye-brows plucked to the rest of the hair plucked on the body can actually leave you exhausted for the day. Men.... before u throw a tantrum about shaving everyday...try plucking a hair from the fingers of your hands... u'll get a faint idea!

U grow older...... SEX.... i really need to ask God in detail about this one. He decided to keep us safer and decided to seal the hole... thanks a bunch! So even when u are going in for the most beautiful experience for the first time... u have blood all over the place.. and frm gorgeous to gory ...in seconds! Lots of 'my' species will agree the aftermaths are also not pretty great!!

Then... comes pregnancy... dont think i can state personal experiences here... but can derive from the experience of other women... the so called most 'beautiful' phase of life begins with morning sickness.. in other words... puking your guts out every morning for as long as 3 months.
then the aspect all men think they know... the extra pounds of flesh everywhere! Dudes.. its only in movies that the woman becomes pregnant...stays as pretty even in the labor room..! But i will have to thank the movies for projecting the 'labor pain' pretty accurately...! yes.. the pain is really that bad..and worse..when the woman dies and all that. Wait.. ! the pain story doesnt end here.. for all the periods that you have missed while you were busy puking and taking care of ur bloated tummy.. are compensated.. a month of continous bleeding!! Wow! So, after u have gone thru a whole load of labor pain... and delivered the 'bundle of joy' all thefuckall joy in your life is to clean and feed the baby...and take care of your stiches and bleeding and the worx! You turn into a milk-machine irrespective of the place and ppl around.. every couple of hours...u open ur blouse and feed... by the way.. all the men getting happy at the prospect of feeding.. lemme tell u feeding also hurts..! sometime to the extent that u want to keep the baby aside and run away!! handling kids on your own.. no nanny or anything can exhaust u to ur bones!! you start dreaming of days when there was no baby... and all other women-pains seem so small and irrelavant.

then your chilren grow up and call u 'my old-woman' and u are entering the menopause..! the world changes again for the umpteenth since u were born..!

Phew....
till next time!