back again- blahsfemmy's back- BETTER NOT TELL A FRIEND!

Phew! Seems like everyone has left. There is no site meter here but the number of ppl not complaining about the blog shutting is a clear indicator that there are no worthy / unworthy readers here.

This is good in a way. I needed this ‘space’.

What was supposed to be my ‘personal’ writing space turned into a firkin Facebook! But then, that’s what you ask for when you put anything personal on the ‘world wide web’.

Now that there is some breathing space, I shall continue the rants.

(Although I do not expect or want many reading this, I would still write this in the 'narration mode', as that is the only mode I know of. Also, other modes sound very documentary-like and hence boring.)

So, life has taken (yet) another turn and this was long due. I could always see it coming from the corner of my eye but it seemed too far or a little blurry.

Now, I see it clearly and in my face everyday and there are some pretty stark reminders in the day-to-day life – and it sometimes bogs me down but mostly I manage to lift my spirits.

Some days it feels like an accomplishment and some days I feel beaten up and defeated.

Yes, you guessed it right. ..today is one of the latter days.

Only add ‘bored to death’ to the previous two adjectives.

The problem isn’t that there is no work (I love NO WORK) but it is the fact that I have to pretend to work (without having access to any messengers/personal email/blogs etc).

So, believe it or not, I am actually typing a draft of this post in a storyboard format (hey, no kidding.. the filename is “ConfigurationManagement_Storyboard_Vpseudo.doc)

This is mainly to ensure that the PMs i.e. the Peeping -tom Managers etc. are under the impression that I am ‘utilising my time well’. Also, as a cover up I have a Wikipedia window open with Configuration Management details to quickly alt-tab to in case a certain peep-tom comes too close.

(On that note, O Wikipedia – har jawan content developer ki dhadkan-I take this opportunity to thank thee. Without your apar shakti and gyaanvardhakta, I would be lost in this tough world of rehashing existing crappy content into crappier stuff!)

To make the ‘cantankerous’ matters worse… a very annoying middle-aged man who joined recently in the HR division plonked right beside me. The sad part is that he has taken the place of a very quiet and docile Dutch girl, who spoke only when spoken too in her broken english and otherwise would mostly keep to herself - in short, everything a perfect neighbour in office should be.)

This new one has a (stinky) air of over confidence about him, which is so thick that it’s almost visible with naked eye - like a 'reverse halo' or something.

He peeps into my laptop screen and then lets out a big sigh or yawns intermittently. Then, looks at me to check if I noticed and will I make some polite conversation to ask him ‘whats the matter, dear?'

But I stay indifferent and maintain my ‘deep-in-concentration’ frown-like expression. This expression is just bordering the ‘do-not-disturb-or-I-can-get-very-rude expression.

(On a side note, I realise now that this is also my face when in a train/plane/airport/any waiting place. It saves me from lot of idle conversations. Not because I am not an idle-conversation person but because I divulge into too many details and before I know half of my life history (and personal email addresses) are shared with this random person who I may never meet again but who will send me spam ‘good morning’ mails for the rest of my life. Yes, it has happened to me.)

PP (Pesky Prick) mutters certain things (as if to himself)..but it is very clear from the things muttered that he doesn’t mean to leave it at that. Sample these:

“oh dear, where has this man disappeared to?”

“umm..humm..i like this song..(playing on someone else’s machine…) I like the artist, he is my favourite.. which was the one I liked?..”

“Aah..the food on the table is making me hungry…”

But I stay as indifferent as ever and type away.

Anyway, coming to the point where I need to record in this journal of mine why this morning (and yesterday evening) has turned the ‘new improved’ me to the ‘old cantankerous’ me.

"Being a single woman is a curse in most cities of this country." Now, that is not a very eye-opening statement, you might say.

However, a single woman living alone AND who is not good at bargaining is DISASTER personified.

I give in and resign too soon. I start off very stormily and an average non bargainer like me would think ‘whoa…easy woman!’…but with hardly any persuasion, I can hear myself saying ‘oh okay then. Sure’.

Where are my Mom's genes when I need them most? Where? Where?

I guess only around the waist! **Sigh!**

And, then I loathe myself for giving in so easily.

"This too shall pass" :-) …like the boring time passed while I typed this ‘comeback post’.

Till next time…