NO WAY!

God's sense of humor is getting really sad with each day...!
Here is a brief account of last week's happenings


Had really bad joint pains(NOT funny...!) ..so decided to bunk ofc and go see an orthopedic ..

The doctor kept on asking if i have 'fever' along with the pain..i said 'No,but i do feel feverish'..(there is certainly a difference between 'having fever' and 'feeling feverish'...which I am sure the doctor had no idea about....he doesnt know that i feel 'feverish' almost 5 days in a week!) Anyway, he diagnosed..
'Umm..its a lil vague situation...
it could be that latest viral thats srpeading..Aaal symptoms lead to that...see..jaaint pains...FEVER..
(i emphasised 'feverish'..)
Which he completely ignored and continued…
‘Get a 'Master Health Checkup' done'. The Master Health checkup was actually the mother of all checkups and had some 27 tests!
It meant 6 hours for all checkups..i was glad because meant 1 complete day off from work.
So, I called up at work and told 'em..i MIGHT have some viral fever...I have to get it checked…...to this my manager reacted as if I have AIDS! ..And I was immediately given 3 days off...till I get ALL my tests done...! (Such jerks in my ofc! Good for me though!)
The Master Health checkup was on Friday so, waiting in anticipation I spent Wednesday and Thursday doing absolutely nothing..not even going to the gym..because it could aggravate the grave situation..(this ofcourse was only an excuse …because I had been wanting to bunk gym since a long time now!)
I was instead kind of concentrating on what disease I could possibly have amongst- arthritis, osteoporosis, and rheumatism. And as I thought more, I felt more pain. I could not possibly rule out 'bone cancer' completely! I Googled all possible things realted to 'bones and pains' and at sometime or the other I felt that I has some symptom or the other in the past few years..! Maybe I had ‘all of the above’ kind of a situation here!

However, Friday came and although not going to office can be a very exhilarating thought…but instead getting molested in various forms such as needles, ultrasounds, and ECGs..turns all the excitement into anxiety and also ‘anguish’ to a certain extent.

Went through all the drama…got all the tests done…and waited some more to find out the results…! (Lot of suspense, as y’all can imagine!)

So, I get back with all my blood tests, ECG reports, ultrasounds…the works. The physician looks at the reports and smiles…'Absolutely nothing….everything seems pretty normal!
Blood count- good
Blood pressure- normal
Hemoglobin- good
Albumin-excellent…(whatever that is..)
(and rattled on for some more time with a lot of other biological-sounding names which were all ‘Good’)

Then, she stopped at Cholesterol…
'Umm….ur cholesterol levels seems exceptionally HIGH!
I mean, ur good cholesterol is good but ur bad cholesterol is bad…'

(OK..that really helps!)

Then, went on to tell me that I need to consult a dietician.

Having high cholesterol was the last thing on my mind…!! Fuck psyche!

However, consulted the in-house dietician who bombarded me with all possible questions about my diet and concluded I need to cut off on calories…!
????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Along with it being very humiliating it was very shocking..
I could only stare in disbelief …1.5 months of some kick-ass cardio exercise and I get cholesterol problems!!???

What kind of a joke is that??
So, I have to be on a ‘strict diet’ for 3 months … or my ‘heart is at risk’!! (I suppose God found a lot of humor in this under the current circumstances. But I would like to say ‘Not really!!’)

The irony is that this still had nothing to do with my ‘joint pains’ because the physician told me…u might have to see a rheumatologist and NOT a orthopedic!!

What the fuck??!!

Suddenly, its like goodbye to all ‘good stuff’ in life!

Pbhhht!