Fun'hawww!

There isn’t much I feel like doing in this crazy bitch city. So my cousin suggested we watch some movies on the DVD. Interestingly, in this crazy bitch but hi-tech city, my subziwala rents out DVDs. But the interesting part ends here..because the DVDs are a boring collection ..hindi (the sad ones…such as Tom, Dick and Harry, Krishh etc.!), kannada movies, and a few English ones (which are also very shady!). My cousin selected ‘Fanna’ and I couldn’t vehemently refuse (that’s the extent to which I was bored!)..and we decided to watch it on the laptop.

The movie can be actually be ‘critiqued’ in one sentence…
‘of the retards, by the retards, for the retards’.

However to give more perspective to the ppl who had the intelligence to skip it or the fortune to miss it..here is my interpretation:

The movie begins with a very puffed up Rishi Kapoor and Kirron Kher fussing over their blind daughter, Kajol, who is like the 'apple' of their eye (although I think she is actually more towards a ‘Pear’!) All the fuss is about their blind yet always impeccably dressed daughter doing to Delhi for a ‘independence day dance’ .Which is not only a very silly reason, but also that the director forgot that 26 Jan is ‘Republic day’ and not when we got our ‘aazadi’..DUH-UH!(And there are many such ‘duh-uh’ moments in this movie...so hang on y'all!) Kirron Kher is playing a retarded mother who keeps telling her daughter about meeting a 'shehzada' who wud churn out 'lurrve' in the form of 'shayari'...u bet..she really sounds twisted.

So Kajol cajoles her folks and reaches the land of thugs 'The Delhi'! The director just cudnt wait longer to bring Aamir Khan into the picture and Aamir just barges in and bursts into some really really 'tacky poetry' ...and this makes the blind Kajol super duper impressed and thinks 'woe... i guess THIS is what my mommy was referring to when she said 'shehzada and shayari'. She falls in love at a ridiculously fast pace...and it was like love at first 'sound'! Very very tacky, i must say!
Kajol, madly in love, is roaming all over 'the delhi'all by herself in and out of autos!..Delhi autos? and a blind girl..and she stays safe till the end ?? I DONT THINK SO!! Mr.Kunal the Kohli is thus surely NOT a delhiite!
They fall in love and Aamir continues with the tacky shayari endlessly. Kajol does her 'independence day dance' and is about to leave...then Aamir and Kajol suddenly decide to make love (it was the only way she could have a son later on!). She almost leaves, and then real love strikes Aamir and he rescues Kajol and she
gets carried away even more (literally, i mean, he CARRIES her out of the train!!)

THEN...I think Mr. Kohli thinks, its getting too much to handle a blind Kajol. So next shot, Aamir takes Kajol to a doctor...where the super intelligent doctor tells Aamir that 'ofcourse, she can see again!'...(WHATTTT???? what were her parents doing all this while..did they never bother to take their daughter to the doctor?? or were they sadists and enjoyed the blindness??) She goes thru a very filmi eye-operation and voila...she can see..!
While Kajol has her eyes in bandages, Aamir scoots off because he is a terrorist! Kajol is heart broken...she is told that the love of his life has been killed in a bomb blast...and guess HOW she confirms his death????? She finds a piece of the sweater she has knit for him..! Wow, THIS was Aamir khans foolproof plan to make Kajol believe he was dead??? The answer is 'yes', because she believes it with her heart and soul!

Anyway, then there is a lot of stupid drama about terrorists and some fuss about a friggin 'trigger' that will blow up the whole world. In between all this...who else do we see completely wasting her talent?? TABU...!!!! (:-O all good actors were on drugs when they signed for this movie.) She is some woman top shot in some army special crime branch ..or whatever..! She is for some reason shown as a superwoman handling work and a kids ..because she keeps talking to her kid on the phone!! (completely senseless in the context!)

However, because the Indian Army has the 'trigger' Aamir very cooly gets into the army in the same regiment and unit and replaces an exisiting captain!!!!!!!!! (any human being with an average IQ will puke with disgust at this!)

ANDDDD.... Also, somewhere in between...Aamir pushes rishi kapoor from a cliff and he dies...! And guess how does Kajol find out this time????? She comes to fill water from a well (A WELL??) And then, she sees a dead body floating under the ice! That all! (Like its normal for dead bodies to float under the ice while u are at the well to fetch a pail of water!!)

No, attempt of rescuing or digging him out of there..!!Nothing..! She doesnt even go half as crazy when she realizes Aamir is dead..so much for fussing for the apple of her eyeungrateful children!! She goes ballistic and runs away with her son to hide from Aamir and inform the Army headquarters.....
BLEAH!!!!!
(I am tired of rolling my eyes and they are about to fall out of head and also i am sleepy with boredom..and pass out..)

I wake up and find kajol has killed Aamir khan..i DONT want to know why and how!


PS: i must point out here that this might not be the correct order of sequences because OBVIOUSLY, i dont remm the movie crystal clear...it deserves to be forgotten!